I will tell you how he lived...

I have missed my father everyday since he departed this life on June 24, 2009. Antonio Lores Liquete passed away on a Wednesday morning at Guam Memorial Hospital after two months of battling an infection that started with a cut on his left arm. Ever the stubborn man who endured his pain silently, he did not tell anyone of the wound until the infection became virulent enough to land him in the hospital for over two months. Towards the end, the infection did go away and he was on his way to a long recovery. We all thought he was getting better; my sisters and I made plans to go back and see him once he made it back home. But it was not so...his very last battle was with aspiration pneumonia - and it was a battle he did not win.

It was a shock to all of us. When I received the news he was still there somehow, coding on the hospital bed. Over the phone, the nurse said "we're in the second round of code blue."

I just stared at my cell phone, not understanding. Of course I knew what a code blue was - but I couldn't understand - why was it happening - there must be a mistake. "What do you mean?" I asked, "He's supposed to be getting better...what are you talking about!"

Again the nurse spoke. "You need to tell your mom to make him DNR."

In my state of disbelief, I just kept repeating "what do you mean? what do you mean?"

Finally the doctor came on the phone and he said "I'm sorry to say your father has passed away."

Still in disbelief, I said "what? how could this happen?"

"He lived a very long life," he said, sounding sincere in his sympathy. After a few more words, the doctor handed the phone to my mom, who did not know what was going on.

"Daddy is gone" I told my mom, and her sobs were the last I heard before my brother spoke to me. I told my brother to take care of mom and promised we will on the very first flight out to Guam.

At my father's funeral service, Father Dan quoted a line from "The Last Samurai," in which the character says: I will not tell you how he died, I will tell you how he lived. In doing so, I have briefly described how my father died. Now, the bigger picture is how my father lived.

His life story is 83 years long. That life began in San Esteban Ilocos Sur, Philippines on December 15, 1925 and spanned a spectrum of changes and constants. I am sure he had a colorful life long before he became a husband, father, and grandfather. Sadly those stories are locked in the memories of his cousins, old neighbors, and his lone living sister - my Aunt Josefa. On his last visit here to the states, at the San Francisco Airport just moments before he departed for home, I asked my father how he met my mother. The story he told was one I never heard before, and I craved for more - but time was short and he had to board the plane. Truly, time was too short and I now realize how precious my father's memories are now that they are lost forever. But... all is not lost. My memories of him are abundant; stories of him from my sisters and brothers, my many aunts and uncles, his cousins, his neighbors-they are still within my grasp. And as I get them, I would like to share with you stories of how my father lived.

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Counting Fingers


It was early evening and my older siblings and I were gathered at the top of the stairs located at the side of the house. We were all ready for bed, and my dad was testing our mathematical knowledge. I was the youngest of the bunch, probably 4 or 5 years old, and I was desperate to impress my dad. I wanted to show him that I knew my numbers too. So I urged him to pick me and to ask me a question. And so he did. He asked me to add two little numbers together. He probably said: “Bit, what’s two plus three?” And I distinctly remember sneaking a peak at my fingers resting on the floor, spreading them out secretly so I could count out my answer without revealing to my older sisters and brother that I was cheating. One of them caught me and blurted out: “She’s counting her fingers!” Feeling quite ashamed, I balled up my fingers and dared not look at my dad. But he said to whoever ratted me out: “So what, let her count her fingers it show’s she’s thinking.” I felt my dad was proud of me that night, whether or not I gave the right answer.

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